When Nikki Hillhouse faced a stroke at the tender age of 31, she did more than recover—she reinvented herself as a beacon of health and vitality. Her journey from the grips of chronic pain to the peaceful shores of Turkey, where she now leads transformative wellness retreats, is nothing short of inspirational. Embark on a tale of resilience as Nikki and I discuss her approach to becoming the CEO of one's own health, the significance of dreaming big, and why settling for mediocrity simply isn't an option.
Imagine a sanctuary where the harmonious blend of yoga, organic cuisine, and the lull of gentle waves fosters an unparalleled state of relaxation. That's just a glimpse of the personalized retreats Nikki crafts, providing a serene backdrop for self-discovery and healing. Our conversation weaves through the intimate experiences that guests encounter, from clarity calls to mind detox sessions, all tailored to heal and rejuvenate. I even share snippets of my self-care routine, including my weekly beachside retreats with a cocktail in hand, proving that balance is key even amidst a bustling life.
The heart of our dialogue turns to the importance of self-care, especially when chronic pain or terminal illness casts a shadow over life's canvas. Nikki and I explore the subtle cues our bodies provide, the value of setting boundaries, and cultivating a compassionate space for those in their most vulnerable moments. From the potency of Mind Detox Therapy to the simplicity of tapping (EFT), we uncover tools that empower us to not only manage life's pains but to thrive in spite of them. Join us as we unravel the importance of prioritizing happiness from within and the courage to let adversity fuel our personal evolution.
www.nikkihillhouse.com
When Nikki Hillhouse faced a stroke at the tender age of 31, she did more than recover—she reinvented herself as a beacon of health and vitality. Her journey from the grips of chronic pain to the peaceful shores of Turkey, where she now leads transformative wellness retreats, is nothing short of inspirational. Embark on a tale of resilience as Nikki and I discuss her approach to becoming the CEO of one's own health, the significance of dreaming big, and why settling for mediocrity simply isn't an option.
Imagine a sanctuary where the harmonious blend of yoga, organic cuisine, and the lull of gentle waves fosters an unparalleled state of relaxation. That's just a glimpse of the personalized retreats Nikki crafts, providing a serene backdrop for self-discovery and healing. Our conversation weaves through the intimate experiences that guests encounter, from clarity calls to mind detox sessions, all tailored to heal and rejuvenate. I even share snippets of my self-care routine, including my weekly beachside retreats with a cocktail in hand, proving that balance is key even amidst a bustling life.
The heart of our dialogue turns to the importance of self-care, especially when chronic pain or terminal illness casts a shadow over life's canvas. Nikki and I explore the subtle cues our bodies provide, the value of setting boundaries, and cultivating a compassionate space for those in their most vulnerable moments. From the potency of Mind Detox Therapy to the simplicity of tapping (EFT), we uncover tools that empower us to not only manage life's pains but to thrive in spite of them. Join us as we unravel the importance of prioritizing happiness from within and the courage to let adversity fuel our personal evolution.
www.nikkihillhouse.com
Welcome to another exciting episode of Kevjet the podcast. I'm excited to introduce to you this week's guest well-being coach, nikki Hillhouse. When Nikki's world was rocked by a stroke at the age of 31, it was the catalyst for a transformative pursuit of holistic well-being that she now passionately shares with others. Her compelling story unfolds in our latest episode, where we're privileged to hear how she turned adversity into a lifeline for both herself and those seeking refuge at her wellness retreat in Turkey.
Speaker 2:One of the girls said do you remember you sitting there and you were going? I'm going to do this, what are you going to do? I'm going to do small retreats and I'm going to do it here. I don't know how it's going to do it or the ways and means of, but I just knew that people need help.
Speaker 1:Nikki's journey is a poignant reminder that our health is our most precious asset, and she leaves us with valuable insights into how we can all take the helm and become the CEOs of our own well-being.
Speaker 2:Come back to my real self, realise that I'm perfect as I am. You know, okay, there's bits of my body that might not work how it used to, but me, the real me, is still perfectly okay. Pain in life is inevitable, but suffering is optional. I thought, hang on, you're taking my power away. You're not giving me the power to make that choice. So when I decided to think, do you know what? If I want to take a tablet, I'll take a tablet. If I want to do this, I'll do this. I've got the choice to do this. They took all that away from me. And when I sometimes and I look back and I see this asset in the waiting room, in these phosphatiles, and I'm like I don't recognise who I am now, how I was then, what does terminal mean? I sort of see terminal. We're all terminal, aren't we Sure? From the minute we were born, we're all terminal.
Speaker 1:I'm going to love the sensor. I can already tell.
Speaker 2:What does love say? What do you need in this moment? What is love saying to you right now? What do you need more of? How are you being in this moment? What would you like more of right now? Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself. Don't live small. Don't meander through life and thinking, oh, this is it, I'll just accept, this is my lot and this is what I need to do. Don't live small. Go and follow your dreams. Do what it is that you want to do.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you well-being coach Nikki Hillhouse. Welcome to Kevjet, the podcast. Nikki Hillhouse, a well-being coach.
Speaker 2:Good to be here, thank you. Thank you, lovely to be here.
Speaker 1:It's lovely to have this conversation and I thought we would hit record because we were having a great pre-conversation.
Speaker 2:We were, we were. Let's see if we can get any more juices, perhaps out.
Speaker 1:Let's try and backtrack a little bit. So just tell me a little bit about yourself. You are in Turkey, first of all, not far from a beach.
Speaker 2:I'm not far, probably about 10 minute drive from the local beach on the western side of Turkey, on the Eugene coast, and I moved here about 18 months ago to live here permanently. From the UK by my accent you're probably here I'm originally from Edinburgh, so in case my dad's listening, yes, I am Scottish. I chose to move to Turkey for the lifestyle, for my own mental and physical health and well-being, and I chose that when I'm, when I'm here, my health for, after suffering many years of ill health and being in the sunshine and the fresh, clean air and the mountain air and the sea air is so good for my health. And also it gave me the opportunity to run my own wellness health retreats, which is about half an hour from where I live. They're beautiful, equal centre that I run my retreats from.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. You decided you wanted to follow that path and help other people after you suffered ill health.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's right. I suffered a stroke at the age of 31. I had a bit of neck pain and it was really a bit uncomfortable and a friend of mine, he, said, I've got you know, there's this great osteopath that I go and see from my back. Why don't you come along and have a session? So I did. I went along with a session and I sort of knew there and then when I was lying on the couch she was pushing down quite heavily on the top of my head and it really quite excruciating the pain in my head and neck. I just thought this is what she does, this is she's the expert practitioner. I trust her that even I started to get a lot worse, progressively worse. The following morning I ran a bath so I thought you know, getting the bubbles have a nice warm soak that might help take the headache and neck pain away. And unfortunately I suffered a stroke in the back. Yes, so due to the.
Speaker 2:You know we can't ever say why, but it's quite coincidental that I had a manipulation and then, following data, the artery dissected in the brain.
Speaker 1:Sure, and that left you with chronic pain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me be. Chronic pain all the way down my left side and poor central nerve pain all the way down my leg into my foot was like a neuropathy burning pain and my headaches, neck pain, mobility issues.
Speaker 1:had to learn to walk again, talk again my goodness, and so the quick fix was seeing the doctors and being prescribed pain medication.
Speaker 2:That's right, yes, being prescribed pain medication. And I always remember the day that I was leaving hospital and my consultant who was trying not to be judgmental here is very old man. To me it felt like it was very old and I couldn't feel down the left side, I was in a wheelchair, I couldn't walk, and he said to me you need to accept this is how you are, because you're not going to have any sort of life. This is the quality of your life. Your mental, cognitive ability, everything's poor now, all the sort of you know. And that, if that belief had stayed with me, I remember going home that day saying I want to say the words in my mind you know, swear word. No, I'm only 31. There's got to be. You know, I've got to push through this and move forward. And that's what I did. I just pushed through and got on with my life.
Speaker 1:So when did you decide that you weren't going to just continue with pain medication and that you were going to sort of going to? I read that you were going to become the CEO of your life.
Speaker 2:I woke up one morning I was in bed and my usual routine. I spent 15 years from later 31. To add. All the years up now are 15 years.
Speaker 2:In and out of an Oxfordshire where I lived at the time, there's a pain clinic, and no fault of the doctors. You know I was in pain. So it was another drug and another drug. Try this one, fight this one, and before you know it you've got so many different drugs that you're taking. And it just so.
Speaker 2:That was the morning. I had my usual pills and I saw this beanbag cushion ping ping all the time in the microwave and my two cups of coffee, and you know, so it would help the pain a bit Get ready for the day, go to work, do all the sort of things, and the day and that was the moment it was I just sort of laid there and I thought, no, I can't do this anymore, it's just either. It got to the stage I thought I just don't want to be here anymore. Maybe checking out this life would be a lot easier, because it's difficult for people around you to cope with as well, and I thought, no, I deserve a quality of life and okay, and the word it wasn't flashing front my eyes, but it's also something. Not hear something, but it was power and I thought, okay, I'm going to take my power back. And that's when I decided to become the CEO of my own health and go my own wellness journey.
Speaker 1:So was that scary for you, or was that exciting?
Speaker 2:It was a bit of both very scary and exciting and very, very difficult, because the amount of medications that I was taking, I just thought how on earth am I going to come off all these medications? And even though I was still driving a car, going to work, doing everything, because my body got so used to the different drugs that I took, but there's so many side effects to them as well, you know, and I got to the stage that I knew that, okay, it's pain. There must be another way that I can live with pain without taking all these different drugs, because it was giving me all these other health conditions on top of it because of it. So, yeah, it was scary and exciting.
Speaker 1:Where was the first place that you turned to? Because you must have had to educate yourself.
Speaker 2:I'd always been interested in massage and sort of wellness and looking after myself in that way. But first I started going down the food and nutrition side and I started to look up not to be surprised it was more for people with cancer. And what do they eat? You know, what do they have in their diet that can help with inflammation? I got told there's a lot of inflammation in my neck and leg and things like this. So I thought if I can eat a diet, that's in an alkaline diet, that there's no inflammation and acidity in the foods. So I went out and that's when I bought my first juice machine and I started juicing. So that would be the first sort of steps, started juicing and looking recipes and changing the way that I ate.
Speaker 1:And then, eventually, you evolved to thinking wow, if I can do this for myself, I can teach other people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that would have been about. So I was actually here in Turkey and a mentor and meditation teacher friend of mine, sandy Moobigan. He was hosting a retreat not far from where we were living in our old village and I went along to one of his wellness retreats and this was 2014, I think 2015, until I learned a meditation technique called body cam and it helped me that much. He said to me why don't you become one of my coaches? Why don't you learn meditation and become a body cam coach? And I said, oh no, I don't know if I can do that, because then I didn't. Really, I've still quite introvert. I do, we've got a lot of confidence and I'm still coming off quite a bit of medication. So that was my first journey of thinking. Do you know what? Maybe I could? Maybe I could help other people through my journey? And what I'm going on and still going on.
Speaker 1:You do your own retreats now, don't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I host my own retreats in Turkey. Yes, it's a beautiful place called Energy Vadi, which is in the Mula district on the Eugene coast.
Speaker 1:So you really evolved from that first time that you were a guest at a retreat and now you host your own.
Speaker 2:You know, and I always remember sitting there when I was at the retreat and the everyone that I met there. We stayed friends and we were talking about this last year and one of the girls said to me do you remember you sitting there and you were going? I'm going to do this. So what are you going to do? I'm going to host more retreats and I'm going to do it here. I don't know how I was going to do it or the ways and means, or, but I just knew that you know people need help. This is what I'd like to do.
Speaker 1:So why don't you walk us through how you do that?
Speaker 2:I am at the retreats, I teach meditation techniques and mindset and wellbeing techniques. I also have other guests that come in to help. We also have lovely you know spa treatments. We go out on a boat trip, there's yoga and I teach the meditation on the boat trip. I also do mind detox with the guests. So it's a bit of a mixture. It's all about the wellbeing side of it mental, emotional, spiritual, you know, mind, body, soul coming together as a wellness because we're all home. You know this mind, body, soul.
Speaker 1:And how long do your retreats last?
Speaker 2:Only about a week. Just about a week. Seven days, six nights, yes, Okay.
Speaker 1:Wow. So you go through meals, you go through the whole.
Speaker 2:Just walk us through everything, because I would imagine that you start with one aspect of somebody's life but then you work your way through physical, mental, I think from the moment people arrive, I mean it's a beautiful, you know the accommodation, everything's very bespoke, it's in a beautiful valley, it's very quiet, you're in nature, there's the animal sanctuary, everything that's there. So straight away you're away from your usual busy life, perhaps in London or wherever it is that you're from city life, away from work, and you're literally as soon as you come through that door and you just switch off straight away you can see people. You know they're willing to take on board whatever it is that you've got ready to teach them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, healthy foods, the foods are all organic. We serve vegetarian food. You can have meat if you want to, but all the food is grown on the land. It's all grown there organically. Yes to the well, water and everything. And yeah, just the workshops that are put together so everyone has a chance to be in the room. It's really important that you, whatever you're learning, that you have that time away to absorb it, because it can be quite emotional when you're going through a lot of self healing. So it's a mixture of some workshops, time for yourself and the whole human journey.
Speaker 1:And how does it work with your clients? Do you have people? Is it a mix of people that come in for the very, very first time and people who have attended several times, or how does that? Work.
Speaker 2:For the. This is it's. It's last year was my first retreat, so this year was my second retreat. So this is I'm very new to the retreat side. But last year there was two people who were. You know that I knew sort of through his clients, but mostly people come through not knowing of my work or through a friend, of a friend or whatever I advertised. So, which is lovely for me to get to know people that don't know me.
Speaker 1:Sure, and how do people find you?
Speaker 2:Via my website social media.
Speaker 1:Yes, and so it's a range of your clients will be a range of people with multiple different needs. So people come to you for they want to find a balance in their life, they want to find peace in their life, they want to heal. How do you personalize I guess is the word I'm looking for how you're going to help each client.
Speaker 2:Okay, so beforehand I do, I like to do clarity call or Zoom call, get to know that person and what it is that they want to gain from spending their money with me to come and I wait to fuck it and have no retreat. Everyone's unique, everyone's got completely different circumstances. And I also offer a mind detox session so we can get to the perhaps beliefs or the root of the condition and the life problem. So that person starts to build up a bit of a rapport with me before they actually come over to Turkey. So we have that that sort of connection already.
Speaker 1:And how often is that communication between you and the client?
Speaker 2:On the retreat every day.
Speaker 1:So before the retreat, is it sort of like the client is able to contact you at any time, Like do you have a set time for for consultations?
Speaker 2:If people want to contact me, usually it's covered through a Zoom call and some emails and, you know, an ascending tinnary, everything that's going to happen, what they're going to. It's really just setting sort of down what people would like to gain and what, and then I'll say to them what I would like them to take away from it. So it's slightly different to my coaching. You know. That's like one to one with the client, whereas the retreat is more a group of people coming away for the week.
Speaker 1:And how big is the group in the retreat?
Speaker 2:About 10 to 12, I have to keep it quite small because it's personal. So you haven't got like 10 to 12 people, maybe 14 at the maximum, Because I can give more, because I can't spread myself too widely. So when you have a big group of people I find it's very impersonal. I like it to be quite a personal space and a safe space for people to be able to open up.
Speaker 1:You promote the well-being and your well-being coach, but earlier, when we were talking, your life is very busy. You told me that you have nine cats.
Speaker 2:Yes, nine, I think maybe sometimes if one of the other cats come up with 10, there used to be 15, I think we've gone down to about nine.
Speaker 1:Yes, so how do you keep your life sort of organised so that you're able to help other people?
Speaker 2:My self-care and my well-being is at the forefront. After everything that I've been through my health I always prioritise a time and a day for me, or even on my calendar once a week and that's my afternoon for me to do what I want to do. It could even be an afternoon down the beach. There has been the odour-cajum and I've thought, right, okay, and I've been sitting there. I've had a cocktail I'm all for healthy eating, of course and have a green smoothie and a juice, but there's times when that self-care comes back to what is it? You really want? Something that lifts you up and gives you a bit of joy. So it's yeah, I always prioritise a time and a day for me. Yeah, to just do what I want to do. It might be listen to podcasts, it could be reading a book, it could be just getting 10 minutes fresh air, but I always make sure that I have that time alone for me.
Speaker 1:That's so important, isn't it? It's like a recharge.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely, because if I'm no help to anyone else somehow, if I'm exhausted, so it's really important that I sort of, like you say, sort of charge the batteries back up again so I'm ready to go. So it's yeah, and just getting fresh air, and even if it's just sitting on my cup of tea in the garden with all the cats around me, I tend to jump on my lap, so I never get a piece in that way.
Speaker 1:Although we must say, the cats have their own house, don't they?
Speaker 2:They do. They do my partner. He built their cat house for them and when we go back to visit family in the UK they have their own feeding machine so they have the food comes on at certain times the day and everything. So, oh yes, it's like a cat hotel.
Speaker 1:Very nice.
Speaker 2:A private little hotel.
Speaker 1:And you just run me through Mind Detox Therapy. What is that?
Speaker 2:Mind Detox. Okay, mind Detox is basically what we do with. Mind Detox is we are trying to uncover and resolve chronic health conditions and persistent life problems, and I go through a series of questions and what we tend to do is we come up with a memory that you're subconscious, you know. If we had to remember everything that's happened to us in our lives, your brain would just it's just too much, isn't it? And there's, and if someone's presenting a certain issue or a health condition, it could just be they're feeling a certain way not good enough and there's a belief underlying underneath that that they don't feel good enough.
Speaker 2:We work through Mind Detox to heal all that. We uncover it and we resolve it. And the thing is we can't ever resolve and heal the actual memory of what's happened to us, that traumatic event, you know in that moment. But when we do a Mind Detox, you literally bring it to a happy conclusion and we have these beautiful learnings that we have at the end of it. So that person just feels really uplifted, even though the memory is still there for them. There's no that emotion of charge to it anymore. They can just let it go, just it's there, but they don't hang on to it anymore. They just let it go. So it's quite powerful technique.
Speaker 1:That is the process.
Speaker 2:I go through a process of asking a few questions to that person and the way that I ask the questions, they will come up with a memory and then we talk about the memory and why it was an issue for them, what was the problem for them, and then we go through it step by step. It's like a five-step process.
Speaker 1:Do you ever have a client that comes to you and they just desperately want to be healed, whether it was a traumatic experience, but they have a block and they're sceptic. How do you deal with that?
Speaker 2:Sometimes you have people saying oh no, I'm so into my friend or so into my husband or wife, say, to come for a session and it's not going to work because you're not going to. You know, it's just not going to happen to me. And you know you don't understand what I've been through and usually just let the person talk, just listen for what they have to say, and you know they don't see it. But I see the blocks, you know, and I can see the little beliefs forming above that, you know, and I'm writing it all down. I'm writing it all down and then I'll just say, oh, that's interesting, tell me a little bit about blah, blah, blah. And it's like oh, you've hit the nail on the head there. And then we tend to work on.
Speaker 2:A lot of the time, when people come for a session, it's I want to work on whatever it is for them. And then once you start talking, it's never. Usually it's usually what's underneath that, because you know there's layers to everything, so it's a superficial stuff. But once you start talking, like underneath that there's something at the core that needs to be resolved. So it's usually that I quite like a challenging person and it's usually the ones that go. Wow, I never expected that to happen. And then I get a lovely email saying my goodness, I feel so much better. My back pain's gone. You know my relationships got a lot better, you know. So it's yeah, I quite like a challenge.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about pain, because that's a big part of your story, isn't it? So you have found well, you've taken control of your health and you've taken control of your pain. So tell us that story. How did that work? What's the success part of it? Is there a negative side to it?
Speaker 2:For me it was important that I wind off all the medications. I mean, I was on morphine and even had stronger drugs and morphine things like that and I did think how am I going to cope, how am I actually going to cope with this pain without the medication to like numb it, you know, to numb everything. And when I started to see that I wasn't broken because I was believing what the doctors were saying and broken, I'm not going to be able to do this, this and this the stress of all that was obviously exacerbating and making my pain worse. But when I started to learn a lot of the techniques that I actually teach my clients now, I could see that I wasn't broken. And when I sort of started to come back to my real self, realised that I'm perfect as I am. You know, okay, there's bits in my body that might not work how it used to, but for me the real me is still perfectly okay.
Speaker 1:Were you afraid of how you were going to feel when you started coming off the medication? Were you afraid that you were going to be just someone sat in the corner of a room in pain?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes. There was many, many times when I was winging off the medication and the pain was just so much and I just thought what am I doing this for? And I'd go in like peaks and troughs and I'd take more medication. That's not working Very, very difficult. But when I waved off very, very slowly and I started to become more confident because I didn't recognise myself in the mirror anymore, I wasn't the person that I who I was before the stroke. So I was looking in the mirror and going who is this person? I don't recognise it. I was like a shelf myself and I had no confidence.
Speaker 2:And I know that the label and the all the medication things that they'd given me was adding to it. And when I realised that I'm a strong woman, come on, you can do this. It's medication. You're not going to die from having physical pain. Pain in life is inevitable, but suffering is optional. So I decided to go down that do I want to suffer or do I? It's optional. I can choose to suffer if I really want to, but I do not suffer.
Speaker 1:When did it start to turn around? When you start like you're weaning it, you're weaning off the medication, you're feeling all the side effects of probably withdrawal. When did you start to feel some positive effects?
Speaker 2:I probably say a few weeks later. A few weeks later, yeah, because when I sort of adopted the attitude of you know what, there's nothing actually wrong with me, I survived. I'm lucky to be here. I survived. It's just physical pain. And when I started to adopt that mindset and that attitude, it was all about my mindset. And when I started to have a more positive outlook and a more positive mindset, I became happier, my relationships were better, everything just opened up for me in that way.
Speaker 1:What did the doctors say when you told them you were going to do that?
Speaker 2:I don't really tell them. I basically I signed myself out of the pain clinic and just sort of said I'm not coming back or even telling the doctors, because I've just had such a fight for many, many years with the doctors saying you can't do this, you're unable to do that, you have to take this, you have to take that the rest of your life. You need to do this, you need to do that. And I thought hang on, you've taken my power away. You're not giving me the power to make that choice. So when I decided to think do you know what? If I want to take a tap, I'll take a tap, if I want to do this.
Speaker 1:I'll do this.
Speaker 2:I've got the choice to do this. They took all that away from me and when I sometimes, when I look back and I see myself sitting in the waiting room in these hospitals and I'm like I don't recognize who I am now to how I was then.
Speaker 1:It's such a success story.
Speaker 2:And I think now it's getting better. I mean, years ago there was not really mindfulness, nothing was really spoken about like the mind body connection. It was like, oh, you're presenting aches and pains, okay, oh, it's arthritis. It's doctors, the thought of their own. You know, you are patients presenting certain, you know like conditions. Oh, they have blah, blah, blah. They have blah, blah, blah. But do they ever get asked what's going on in their personal life? Do they ever get asked what they're eating in their diet? You know it's. You need to look at them. You know the mind-based cause of things. Before not saying that everything you know, most things are about 90%, I'd say, of mind-based causes to a lot of disease in the body. Ill is, disease is usually caused by excessive thinking, what we put in our bodies, what we've subjected to, what we put in our skin, what we breathe in.
Speaker 1:It does. It's the whole package, isn't it?
Speaker 2:It's taking that holistic look and an integrative look, an integrative aspect to your health, rather than because there's not a one-size-fits-all for everybody, but all different, we're all unique. I think it's exploring different avenues and trying things that worked, that didn't work, that worked that didn't work, and just going along with what works for you.
Speaker 1:What is your day-to-day like now? Pain-wise.
Speaker 2:I still have pain. I still have pain, but I don't fixate on it, maybe like how I used to. I'm human. I am human and if I have a day when my oh, this is getting a little bit, tend to do a lot of work on myself, it's like wonder, what's going on there? I like to ask the questions like what's going on in my life right now? And usually there's an answer to it. There's usually an answer that, ah, that's what was that was causing me some stress. This was happening. This was happening.
Speaker 2:Possibly that's what's exacerbating my pain. I've been having a little bit too much sugar. But you know, and there's a balance. You know, it's all about creating that harmonious sort of like state within. So sometimes I just have my pain will just sometimes exacerbate. But then I also have to say, as you know, it's okay. It's okay to not be okay sometimes as well, because I think we can sometimes beat ourselves up wanting to be okay all the time. But you know what? It's okay to have a down day. I'm feeling a bit shitty today. I'm switching off, I'm going to take some time to myself. Yeah, I tend to do that. That's what I need Sometimes. Look at other people's lives going how, after you juggle all these spinning plates all the time and it's just one just about to drop. And it's just prioritizing things, isn't it? What's you can get through the day, but it's just prioritizing it at the right time and if something's not going to work, it's detrimental to your health. You've got to put the boundaries in place. You need to say no.
Speaker 1:Of course I find just for me personally, I find I juggle so much at once and I at the end of the night I do the end of the day I just keep thinking, well, I'm something that I'm juggling is missing out, if not a little bit of everything I'm juggling, and so you kind of have to have a reset and just be like, okay, what's the most important thing that I should be doing, and focus on that. And because if I'm focusing on one area of my life, some what whether it's my friends or my partner somebody is going to be missing out a little bit of me. So I try and even myself out fairly, but it doesn't always work.
Speaker 2:And that's okay as well, isn't it, hey? Just to see that side and go. Okay, tried it, did work, that's okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how would you deal with a client that comes to you who is suffering from chronic pain from a terminal illness?
Speaker 2:Okay big question. Okay, the thing is for me the word. What does terminal mean? It's, I sort of see terminal and we're all terminal, aren't we?
Speaker 1:Sure From the minute.
Speaker 2:We were born, we're all terminal.
Speaker 1:I'm going to love the sensor. I can already tell.
Speaker 2:So we're all infinite. We're all infinite. We come into this earth, we come into this physical body for a short period of time and then we move on. Okay, so we're diagnosed with a terminal condition, unfortunately, but it's for that person, personally speaking, for me, to give them the quality of life that they deserve up until they pass on to wherever it is heaven, universe, whatever, whatever your beliefs are is making them feel as loved and as comfortable as possible. And we're all saying now about taking your power back and that they've got the right, conscious decisions over what it is they need in that moment.
Speaker 2:Okay, the doctors can give you the advice that you need if it's a terminal condition, but what does your heart say? What does the love say? What do you need in this moment? What is love saying to you right now? What do you need more of? How are you being in this moment? What would you like more of right now? And if it's overwhelming, which it can be, with lots of medications and hospital visits and things like that, of course it can be, you know, just sitting with that person even for 10 minutes, letting them feel loved and cared and understood.
Speaker 1:Giving them a voice.
Speaker 2:Making the journey is comfortable, it's beautiful, whatever it means to that person. You know, and it's so important to support them through their choices, because I know it's very difficult for loved ones when someone obviously want your loved one to be there all the time and they may have different choices. They may not want to go down the medical route, they may just want integrative Whatever it could be for that person, and I think it's making them feel like you just say, kev, that the love and the support it's they're making their decision and that's what they want to do, making them feel validated.
Speaker 1:And also you could, we could turn it around and say how would you coach the loved ones?
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah, I mean because they're going through. It's the grief, it's a massive grief, and because they're grieving for their loved one who's ill and they're also grieving for the life that they're just about to not have anymore. So it's having them come back to their real selves and what do they need in that moment? What is it that I could show them? What can I give them? What tools and techniques to help them to nurture their selves and know that they're important and know that they're, that you know what voice they have. They're validated as well and maybe you know trying to find some support from you know, whether it's a man or a woman, whoever it is, it's going through it that they have the right area of expertise to go to and not feel alone, to not feel alone in all of it.
Speaker 1:Sure, and so you would have a wide range of clients that you would see. How do you shut off at five o'clock and how do you leave your work at home? How do you not take on everybody's stress? You're listening to so many powerful stories, probably from your clients, but how do you not take that on yourself?
Speaker 2:Because when I'm present, when I'm totally present, I'm in total awareness, I can have the empathy, I can have the compassion for that other person, but I don't get in the hole with them. It's I'm there to throw the rubber, you know, to throw the thing, you know the rubber ring thing from the side of the sea, the boat, but I don't get in there with them. Because when you start to get in there with them, that's when you feel everything, that's when you I'm not good to anyone. If I get into that hole with them, I need to be really in total present, moment, awareness to be able to guide them, to get them to see further than what's happening in that moment for them. So, just switch off. Yeah, I'll just again probably just going outside get some fresh air. Yeah, I'm pretty good at just sort of switching, switching off from that. And yeah, I'm human.
Speaker 2:You know you do have empathy and you do think about that person. Of course you do. But back again to the self care. If it's something that I need, I may actually go into a little bit of tapping, the FT. You know there's a little bit of tapping or whatever comes up for me in that moment, or sometimes I just do a little bit of emotional work. If something's been quite emotional, I'll just sit with the emotions and just let them rise on back through my awareness and just allow it to happen. Because if I suppress that and say I'm feeling really sad or angry or whatever that's happening in that moment, I'm just going to make myself worse. So it's good for me to just take them in, to just feel those emotions and just allow them to be there and then just let them go and then move on with the day.
Speaker 1:And I forgot to ask. So before the stroke. Let's go back a little while. Was self care an important part of your daily life?
Speaker 2:Probably not. No, probably not. It's very hard to. I think I was all working and being busy and probably not taking much time for myself self care, and I think when something, when you have a trauma or a completely life changing experience, you do start to look after yourself more, you do start to. They say that, don't they? There's this sort of like cliche sort of saying, like when something that this happens to you and I think it was a tall one say something like when you're fed up and sick and fed up of suffering is when you do something about it and when you're faced with that situation, well, it's so true.
Speaker 2:And the hard part is when you see a friend or a family member we're burning themselves out and you so want to give them their love and support. They don't listen. And then something happens and it's like it's not a tool, so, but it's like. I don't want that for you. I wish you just listened to me. Money, all this career, business, whatever it is that you're trying to strive towards, it's not worth it. It's being truly happy with who you are turning in on yourself. And because we can all want that, of course, nothing. We wanted. Things in life, having goals and dreams and aspirations that's what gives us this purpose to move with life. But it's all about sort of tuning in words and like coming back to being happy rather than wanting X, y and Z and believing that's what will make you happy, because usually the people that are doing that are not happy anyway. They're accumulating all this stuff and money and they're still not happy.
Speaker 1:No, no, and I've taken so much from because I have a very eclectic group of friends and I've taken so much love from each and every one of them in different ways. That's been a great thing.
Speaker 2:And that's the small things, isn't it? Because we do, we're human, we get caught up in all the I would like it to be like this or things to go this way. But when you tune back into the small things, you know just being with your dog or having a nice coffee or tea, whatever it is for you, or you know it's on your face, the wind in your hair, that sort of thing, it's those moments.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So yeah, I totally understand how traumatic events change your life for the better and I think you can choose. There is a moment where you can choose this is going to change me for the better or I'm going to be miserable with this for the rest of my life. And I definitely I know that there's a moment you can choose that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Down to the choice, back down to that choice again. Yeah, if I was going to say something for people that are listening, you know, believe in yourself, believe in yourself. You know, don't live small. You know, don't meander through life and thinking, oh, this is it, I'll just accept, this is my lot and this is what I need to do in my life. And it's like, oh, it's okay for you, but I haven't got enough money to do this, this and this. It's not what it's about.
Speaker 2:If you have these sort of right mindset and then you put the action in, things start to peel off for you, you know it's. Yeah, don't live small. Go and follow your dreams, do what it is that you want to do. And if you want to go to a dance class, you want to learn a new skill and something, you go oh, I can't do that, I'm not clever enough for that, or I'm not fit enough for that, or I've not got the money to do it. Because you know you were only here once, we are only here once. You know it's, it's you. Follow your dreams, follow your passions. What is it that you want to do? What is it you want to do?
Speaker 2:I mean, if I could go way back to when, or even eight, nine years ago. And even my partner will say to me now if I'm you know I've said before if I'm having a bit of a pain day he said you used to have every weekend in bed You'd work all day, you know you'd work, and then you'd come in and then you'd just call your paying for those every weekend in bed start start Monday again, you know, to bed. I was going back like eight, nine years ago and I didn't do half the things that I wanted to do, you know it's. And when I had my stroke I thought, you know, I've always been interested in meditation, massage, and then I went ahead, even though the doctor told me that my brain wasn't going to be able to compute things and study and I've done so much stuff over the years.
Speaker 2:And then I went on my own massage business. I worked with children in hospices, young children. I did volunteer work, the stroke association, I did volunteer work for them. And so I think what I'm trying to say is follow your dreams, follow your passions. If you sit and think, well, I can't do that, how am I going to be able to do that? No, you know it's do it, you know, just do it, try it, just see what it is that you want to do, and if it doesn't work out, that's fine, try something different.
Speaker 1:What would you tell your 12 year old self?
Speaker 2:This is the term I, 12 year old, self, trust, more Trust in yourself, believe in yourself. Don't listen to what you know. It's this thing about like listen, sort of everything that you read and you see and you absorb and you take in all the time social media and all these different things and, okay, there's knowledge. You can listen to things, but go and investigate yourself, go and do it yourself. Trust, trust in yourself, more trust in yourself, more, and know that you're capable, know that you're capable of achieving whatever it is that you want to do. Yeah, listen to yourself, listen to your intuition and like more of like. Is that? Who do I wanna be today? What do I wanna be today? Who do I wanna be today? You know and do more of that. Do more of that, rather than I think I'm gonna say that as much as you are.
Speaker 1:Who will Nikki be in 15 years from now?
Speaker 2:Who will Nikki be? Who? I think that I will be remembered. I will be remembered, I'll be respected. If I remembered, I'll admit a difference, you know, and so people say my name. It's like oh, I remember Nikki. Yeah, I remember when I went to one of her retreats so I was in a session with her Made an impact, made a difference. Yeah, I don't know how long I'm here for. No one knows how long we're here, for we can't control the future, can we? We can't control anything, but that's what I would like.
Speaker 1:How do you want to be remembered?
Speaker 2:I want to be remembered as someone who's compassionate, kind, loving, caring, honest Someone that you like being in the company. They were there for you, they held the space for you, they felt your heart, they listened to what you had to say.
Speaker 1:That's beautiful, and I only say that just because you answered the question as if you weren't going to be here in 15 years.
Speaker 2:Oh, there you go. You never knew, do you? So yeah, that was very well put. Yeah, that was clever.
Speaker 1:Lovely well. Thank you, nikki, I really enjoyed our conversation.
Speaker 2:I have too. It's been lovely, Thank you.
Speaker 1:And I'm definitely going to keep in touch with you. Definitely I think we have a lot more conversations to have.
Speaker 2:Yes, it'd be great, wouldn't it?
Speaker 1:Would love that. Thanks a lot.
Speaker 2:Thank you, have a great day, take care.