*Originally broadcasted on September 12th, 2023*
Re-launched in her memory.
Michelle Maxwell
04/03/1977 - 20/02/2024
From the cozy corners of Wedgeport, Nova Scotia, comes a story of resilience and communal love as my childhood friend Michelle Maxwell opens up about her voyage through terminal cancer. The tapestry of our hometown wraps around her with fundraising warmth, revealing the power of a community rallying in the face of adversity. Michelle, with her unwavering dedication to home care and nursing, shares her drive to ensure others don't face their final moments alone—a mission born from the tender losses within her own life.
As we swap tales and tastes, we whisk you into the heart of Acadian culture with the making of Rappie pie, a dish as comforting as the memories it conjures. We reminisce about the Christmases of our youth, illuminated by decorations and harmonies, and how these traditions, laughter, and the embrace of loved ones provide solace and strength. Michelle's approach to her cancer treatment, laced with both humor and raw honesty, lays bare the struggles and triumphs that come with managing pain and seeking joy in every breath.
Finally, we reflect on the profound connections and unexpected rewards found in the healthcare field, where a smile or shared joke can light up the day for both the caregiver and the cared-for. Michelle's advice to the younger generation—to keep life light and cherish education—echoes through our conversation. And with a future celebration of life on the horizon, this episode isn't just about facing the end; it's about embracing every moment with laughter, love, and a sprinkle of positivity.
You can watch the video version of this interview on Kevjet's youtube channel!
Kevjet - The Podcast (youtube.com)
*Originally broadcasted on September 12th, 2023*
Re-launched in her memory.
Michelle Maxwell
04/03/1977 - 20/02/2024
From the cozy corners of Wedgeport, Nova Scotia, comes a story of resilience and communal love as my childhood friend Michelle Maxwell opens up about her voyage through terminal cancer. The tapestry of our hometown wraps around her with fundraising warmth, revealing the power of a community rallying in the face of adversity. Michelle, with her unwavering dedication to home care and nursing, shares her drive to ensure others don't face their final moments alone—a mission born from the tender losses within her own life.
As we swap tales and tastes, we whisk you into the heart of Acadian culture with the making of Rappie pie, a dish as comforting as the memories it conjures. We reminisce about the Christmases of our youth, illuminated by decorations and harmonies, and how these traditions, laughter, and the embrace of loved ones provide solace and strength. Michelle's approach to her cancer treatment, laced with both humor and raw honesty, lays bare the struggles and triumphs that come with managing pain and seeking joy in every breath.
Finally, we reflect on the profound connections and unexpected rewards found in the healthcare field, where a smile or shared joke can light up the day for both the caregiver and the cared-for. Michelle's advice to the younger generation—to keep life light and cherish education—echoes through our conversation. And with a future celebration of life on the horizon, this episode isn't just about facing the end; it's about embracing every moment with laughter, love, and a sprinkle of positivity.
You can watch the video version of this interview on Kevjet's youtube channel!
Kevjet - The Podcast (youtube.com)
Welcome to another episode of Kevjet the podcast. It's not your typical conversation. It's probably not one that you would normally broadcast.
Speaker 2:No, no, but it's a good one to have.
Speaker 1:In this episode I introduce you to my childhood friend, michelle Maxwell.
Speaker 2:I may leave this earth at a young age, but I will leave knowing that I was loved, and that's saying a lot.
Speaker 1:In this very open and honest conversation, Michelle discusses life after a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 2:The strangers that are willing to donate. I'm having a fundraiser put on the donations, whether it's their time, or crafts, or baking, or it's just, and some of, like I said, some of them are strangers.
Speaker 1:We discuss how Michelle remains positive through this journey and how she's still continuing to plan family gatherings, which include potlucks and ropy pie.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have a traditional all of the family Christmas this year and I can't wait.
Speaker 1:If you haven't tuned in to Kevjet the podcast just yet, this is the one episode I would recommend you sit down and listen to.
Speaker 2:You know it's been. It was a little. I was a little nervous at the top of it, but yeah, it's just chatting with, with Kev.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, ladies and gentlemen, my fabulous friend Michelle, all right. Well, I want to welcome Michelle Maxwell, who is actually a friend of mine back home in Nova Scotia, canada, and we are going to talk about Michelle's story today. Hi, michelle, hi, welcome to Kevjet the podcast. How strange.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know it's been a while since we talked, but thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:No, it's. Thank you for being my guest. I am looking forward to this conversation.
Speaker 2:I am too yes.
Speaker 1:It's not your typical conversation between friends. It probably is between friends, but it's probably not one that you would normally broadcast.
Speaker 2:No, no, but it's a good one to have.
Speaker 1:It's a very good one to have, and I think it's quite important, isn't it? So let's just start off light and breezy. How about that?
Speaker 2:OK.
Speaker 1:Sounds good. Just tell me about Wetchport and what, what it was like growing up in that community, and and tell me about community life.
Speaker 2:Well, wetchport is Amazing for helping others and I've seen.
Speaker 2:I've seen this for myself. Just the past week or so, my nephew had Set up a go find me on Facebook and he had asked me if that was OK and I said, sure, but I don't know that it'll get much attention because I know a lot of people. I've been to different schools and I've had different jobs and I I know quite a few people. I just I didn't know how people took me and I didn't know if I made an impact on anybody's life, but within 24 hours they had raised half of the goal and within 72 hours they had surpassed the goal and he put the goal up and it just it wasn't just people from Wetchport, actually, it was a lot of coworkers and friends of my nephew, of my sisters, of my brother in law, but the I just find that people Understand situations and they love to help and but Wetchport has always been really great for fundraisers and helping. It's a really great community to be in for that and I've definitely felt that like it's unreal, like I have no words.
Speaker 1:You definitely feel the love.
Speaker 2:Well, you know what I have said a few times I may leave this earth at a young age, but I will leave knowing that I was loved, and that's saying a lot.
Speaker 1:That is really beautiful, yeah, and it's the love of a community. It's it's. I trying to describe it to people here in England as well. It's it's. You can't describe the community, the submodal community. It has its negatives, but when you really need people, they really come together.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, the strangers that are willing to donate for the fund. I'm having a fundraiser put on the donations, whether it's their time, or crafts, or baking, or it's just and some of what. Like I said, some of them are strangers and they just understand the situation and they want to help, and it's people I went to school with that I you know that I didn't think, even noticed me in school. Sure, reached out to me.
Speaker 1:You know it's it's, it's great yeah actually it's really nice to have that and the community comes together for so many different reasons, but I think when, when there's hard times, the community really is kind of like the glue.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, I totally get that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So you went into home care. You worked in a nursing home. What? What brought you to that decision? How did you decide?
Speaker 2:that's what you wanted to be honest.
Speaker 2:When my grandfather was in the hospital and he was told that he only had a couple months or so, he had pancreatic cancer I think is where it started, but it had spread. I remember going to visit him and while I was walking through the halls I was looking in rooms and there was people laying there alone and once I got to his room I thought he's an elderly person, but he had a life before. So you can't just ignore them and sit them aside and I don't know. I just and it's always been in me to help people, like when I was really young, like my mother would if she had surgeries, I would help her with it, I would clean her wounds and her stitches and like I was never afraid of any of that and it was always in me to help and to help clean houses for my grandmother, or it was just always in me. It was always something I knew that I would do. I knew I didn't want to actually be a nurse or a doctor, but I knew I wanted to help in that way.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was always in me, but really it was seeing those people that were alone. And my worst fear not just for me, for anybody is to die alone and I always made sure, while working in nursing homes or in home care, if somebody was dying I always made sure that I was there. If nobody else was, I would take my breaks with them. I would spend as much time as I could. I volunteered to go on days that the family couldn't, because it's just, I don't think anybody should be alone when they pass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's beautiful actually. I agree 100% and I'm the same way. When I was working on the wards, I wouldn't have my lunch in their rooms.
Speaker 2:One thing that we don't have, although there is a woman getting one in place.
Speaker 1:A hospice?
Speaker 2:Yes, we don't have any, and that's sad.
Speaker 1:It's very sad.
Speaker 2:Because, yes, I really, if I was more ambitious, that is something that I would really look into doing. But, yeah, being alone and it's not, and also the hospital environment isn't it yeah?
Speaker 1:It's just nice to have a nice environment for that time. Yes, on the journey.
Speaker 2:Yes, I mean hospitals. As you know, they're overworked and understaffed and they don't have the time to put in that you would need like the care you would want yeah.
Speaker 1:It's true, especially if you don't have a family, like you were just talking about so because the family sort of pick up where the nursing staff don't have the time for, which is unfortunate.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 1:I know a hospice would be amazing in the Armitth County, wouldn't it? Yeah, hopefully if someone's out there listening to this.
Speaker 2:Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1:Get our heads together. I've always said if I win the lottery, that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:So yes, yeah, me too.
Speaker 1:We kind of went to high school together, so let's backtrack a little bit. Oh gosh. We're just a couple years difference in age. Your grandparents were my neighbors.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I was there a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's how we know each other, and again it's the small community, so everybody knows everybody. But I think we can I can fairly say this that we both had quite a great childhood growing up in that area, so yes, yes, for sure. Your aunt and uncle lived next door as well, and your cousins, yeah, so it was kind of like we were sort of all involved growing up.
Speaker 2:Oh yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:And then life happens and we all kind of go.
Speaker 2:And you drift apart. Yeah, you go your separate ways and how did you meet Bob? How did I meet Bob? Well, I'll tell you, it's love when you meet someone wearing an apron and rubber boots. I met him at the fish plant. Yeah, probably about 22 years ago, I guess. Yeah, wow.
Speaker 1:That is love.
Speaker 2:Yes, reaching of scallops.
Speaker 1:Although you met probably 20 years ago, you've only sort of recently just got married.
Speaker 2:Yes, it'll be four years, march 6th.
Speaker 1:And so what made you decide? Oh, I think we should get married after all this time.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess I had always Just wanted to be married. He had been married in divorce, so it wasn't something he really wanted. But I just said I don't want to be 80 years old still calling him my boyfriend. You know, I just so. One day I said, you know, I mean, give me a good reason why we should it. And he said well, I guess there isn't any. I said well, then we should. He said okay, so we did. That's pretty much how it happened.
Speaker 1:Oh I love that. And you don't have children together. But you have a fur baby, don't you?
Speaker 2:We do have a fur baby. Yes, we've had him. He'll be 10 in October but we've only had him for two years. We adopted him from a lady that couldn't take care of him anymore.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we've got two fur babies, so I know what it's like to have them.
Speaker 2:Yes, they're adorable. Oh my God, they are cute.
Speaker 1:They're a lot of work.
Speaker 2:I was going to say they look what's the word I don't know Like they're in control. Yeah, they're cute. Yeah, spoiled. Of course they're spoiled. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Speaker 1:No, of course, that's why we have them.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about your family. I know you're sort of the instigator for organizing parties and earlier, before we were recording, you were like I love a potluck. I do, I do, so let's just talk about that. Tell me about your family and all the wonderful things that come along with it.
Speaker 2:Well, when my grandmother was living, everything happened at her house Every anniversary, birthday, Christmas, anything, any holiday, anything going on. We had a gathering there in the summer. We always had a huge family barbecue. But once she passed, I guess I took over and I just love having the family together and, like I said, a potluck or like at Christmas we have the traditional Rappie pie and I just I love it and we don't do it nearly enough. Life gets in the way and you know, and then people grow up or have kids, they have jobs and it's hard to get together. So I made sure this year I've talked to everybody and they already had plans to do it that Christmas. Everybody's coming at my house this year and it may be my last one, it may not be, I don't know but I'm going to have a traditional all of the family Christmas this year and I can't wait.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's who's doing the Rappie pie.
Speaker 2:It's usually Uncle Richard, and he's the best Rappie pie.
Speaker 1:Can you just explain briefly what a Rappie pie is, because I know anyone who's listening over here.
Speaker 2:It's an Acadian dish. It's it's grated potato and onion with chicken. You have to boil water and mix it and you put it in the oven and put lots of butter on it. It's really good. It's really good. A lot of people that aren't used to it don't like it because of the consistency. But if but the taste is, the flavor is really good.
Speaker 1:Really good. I make it here and I cheat. I use a food processor for the potatoes.
Speaker 2:Well, we cheat even more and we buy the blocks of already grated potato.
Speaker 1:So you're lucky, I can't do that yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so much easier. But to be honest with you, I have never once made a Rappie pie.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:I've never had to.
Speaker 1:That's true. Uncle Richard has always been there.
Speaker 2:Uncle Richard or my parents or my brother-in-law makes good Rappie pie. Yeah, like I've never had to. So I can quilt, I make quilts. I'm an old granny that quilts, but not Rappie pie. Wow, I like to eat it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly so do I. Although I have to make it over here, there's no one else to make it for me.
Speaker 2:So does it? Does anybody like it there that you've yeah?
Speaker 1:So my friends will try it. But when they look at it they think oh my God.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah. Now what is the consistency of yours? Because every community has a different consistency.
Speaker 1:That's right, so I like to be able to eat it with a fork and not a spoon.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So a little bit firmer yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, I mean, but I'll tell you the best flavored ones that I've ever had were a little bit soupier than mine.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:But my grandmother on my father's side. You could cut it and eat it like a piece of cake.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness. Yeah, like that's too firm for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I need a lot of butter to soften it up.
Speaker 1:I still need a lot of butter, no matter what the consistency is.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it's swimming in butter.
Speaker 1:I love the butter. Do you put molasses on yours?
Speaker 2:No way, that is ruining it. I have tried it just to sick as I can't say I don't like it if I don't try it. But no, my brother-in-law loves ketchup on it, which is kind of like a potato pancake vibe, you know. If you put ketchup and butter, so that's not too bad, but no, just butter. Salt pepper and butter.
Speaker 1:So, nick, when I make it because obviously when I make it it's a massive amount and we have to eat it for days and days, but I tend to freeze- it.
Speaker 2:It's pretty good though.
Speaker 1:It does, but he, if we're going to have it for dinner, he has gravy with it, which kind of makes sense because it's kind of like gravy on potato, but it's not something. I would do, because it's just not the Acadian way.
Speaker 2:No, no, I mean, yeah, I get it. I mean it sounds strange at first, but yeah, gravy and potato and chicken, sure, but no butter, Salt, pepper and butter, I agree, and the best is to fry it up the next day. Yes, I agree yes.
Speaker 1:Love it. Is there anything else that stands out in your family that you remember? Favorite?
Speaker 2:memories. But Christmas, christmas is a big thing for me. I've I go like. Usually I probably won't this year because I don't have the energy, but like decorate, well I have. I usually have at least four trees big trees and then a handful of smaller trees in my house.
Speaker 1:You really do it I really go out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do, I love it.
Speaker 1:I really love that as well. I kind of go all out as well. Probably one of my favorite things about Christmas is decorating this, preparing for it.
Speaker 2:Yes, the lights and the decoration, oh, yes, for sure. I do remember one memory at Christmas One year we went caroling, my family, we started like at grandmothers and my grandmothers and we went, I think we walked all around to my house to mom's and that was really fun. I remember that. And some people would have like candy canes for us and hot chocolate, and we only did it the one year, but that was real. That was a good like. I remember that. That was a really nice memory. Like I'm surprising myself that I'm doing this because I'm very shy. I do it. You're not battling on and that's probably why I'm battling on, because I'm scared to say the wrong thing.
Speaker 1:I guess. No, there is no wrong thing, but it's funny you say you're shy because from someone who knows you, I always think of you as like having such a bubbly personality.
Speaker 2:People say that Maybe I try to overdo it because of the shy, I don't know. But you're not the first one that said that and I never would have described myself as a bubbly person. But you're not the first one that's told me that. Yeah that's nice.
Speaker 1:Thank you yeah because you come across as you're very approachable and you're very chatty and you're always happy, and I try.
Speaker 2:I try to be. Yeah, I don't want. I make it very conscious to not make people around me feel uneasy or uncomfortable, especially in uncomfortable situations. Laughter is my thing. I try to joke my way out of everything, like whether it's being scared or being angry or being whatever. That's just how I cope with everything.
Speaker 1:Do you have that outlet and I'm sure you do when you're not in that situation, do you have that person that you can say, oh my gosh, I'm scared?
Speaker 2:My husband. I'll usually and I have a best friend that although she's having a very, very hard time with my situation, so I try not to put too much on her. So my husband, he's the one that if I'm scared about something which, along the way, not only a couple of times I've been scared like, I take one day at a time and I try, I don't try to think about the end. And I mean I've had the conversations. I know it's going to happen. It's going to happen to all of us, right, yeah? Yeah, my husband is my rock, yeah.
Speaker 1:Good old Bob from the fish plant.
Speaker 2:That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1:I love that story. Yeah, so I've. Obviously we're friends on Facebook. We've known each other pretty much Well, probably our whole life.
Speaker 2:Oh, whole life yeah.
Speaker 1:So obviously, when Facebook came around, we we've had each other. We follow each other's lives and leading up to that, we come to July 28th, when you made a post on Facebook and you say made it through surgery perfectly, now pain free, I'll have more strength to kick cancer's ass.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so tell me what led up to that, because for me that's what that was, the first sort of like oh my gosh, I need to reach out, this is happening in Michelle's life Right.
Speaker 2:So, how did that bear? That bear was actually something totally. It wasn't even the cancer. I mean, the cancer was what was giving me pain, but the surgery was actually my kidneys, or what. Both of them weren't working well, but one of them really really not working well, so I had to have a stent put in from a kidney to the bladder because I wasn't passing urine very well.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:So and I kind of jumped the gun on the pain thing, because it was only one day that, but I wasn't. I was. I thought, well, I'm not going to go post, I don't post everything on Facebook.
Speaker 1:I know, and that's why I saw that I thought Okay, this is, this is serious yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. So I was only pain free for one day at that point, but that's what that was. And there was only a few people close people that knew about my cancer at that point and I thought, well, this is a good way to put it out there. I'm not one to. It's not a secret, it's not. I'm not ashamed of it, I'm not you know. So I just thought this is a way to let people know my friends and people know what's going on in my life.
Speaker 1:So I obviously started paying much more attention when I saw that, because we were all rooting for you to feel better and you had so many get well messages and so many great vibes coming to you, yes, but then a few weeks later, you have another post that came up on Facebook, yeah, which was August the ninth, and that said so my cancer diagnosis has gone from bad to worse. Please send me all the positive vibes you can muster. I have the battle ahead of me like no other I faced, but I'm going to fight it all the way Right. And how does that make you feel to hear somebody read that to you it?
Speaker 2:makes it real. It's so different when it's you, because I don't worry about myself, I worry about my family, I worry about Bob, sorry.
Speaker 1:That's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 2:I don't do this often, take a minute. Yeah, it just. It makes it real. But I'm going to fight.
Speaker 1:That's where I'm going with this. Is that how you still feel? Do you feel like this is going to be the fight of your life?
Speaker 2:Oh yes, oh yes. Actually, I seen a video on TikTok yesterday. I was so happy for her and I bawled my eyes out. I was laying in the tub and by myself so that's usually where I do my crying by myself. She was pregnant, she had a two year a toddler, and she was pregnant and got diagnosed with stage four, I believe, liver cancer. It was full and she was given six months to live and she had the baby. She had eight rounds of chemo and she is cancer free. It worked that good. So that is how I look at it. I try. I mean I in one way I really don't think that I'm going to be cured of it, but I do believe that chemo is helping, in that I am going to have more time than what they gave me.
Speaker 1:And how is the chemo going? How does it make you feel?
Speaker 2:Well, I'll tell you, I had so much pain before the first one. I had a lot of lower back pain because there was a lot, of, a lot of tumors in my abdomen and it was causing a lot of pressure and it was pressing on a lot of nerves and I was having pain day and night. It was unreal the amount of meds that I took in a day and within a week and a half after my first treatment I was, you could pretty much say, pain free. Wow, yeah, the oncologist from the city phoned me after my first treatment to see how I was doing and you could tell by the tone of his voice and what he was saying that he was very surprised at how well it had worked. Wow, and how much, how much less pain I was in. Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:That's the whole point, isn't it so?
Speaker 2:oh my.
Speaker 1:God, let's just hope and pray that that's what gets you through.
Speaker 2:And it's like when I was speaking with my sister, like we said, like, even if it doesn't give me more time, it's the quality of time. Like you know, no pain is a game changer. Like I was, I was literally moaning day and night. I was in a lot of pain. It was really hard on my husband.
Speaker 1:I can imagine yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So not having the pain is Means everything, and what sort of symptoms do you have from the chemo?
Speaker 2:I just had my second round, last Monday, and it seems like Saturdays are my weakest days, but this week it was. It wasn't as bad. The only symptoms I had like I feel the only way I can describe it is yucky. Yeah, it's like you can tell there's something in your foreign, in your body working and and you, just you don't feel yourself. But I was very, very weak on my on my feet, on my legs or like Jell-O on Saturday and by Sunday afternoon it's like a switch.
Speaker 2:I sit to my husband now there I feel better just right now, like it's it's. You know, my body's taking it well and I'm thankful for that, because they explained to me at oncology that, like, when doctors give you meds, they normally will start you on a low dose and work their way up to where you need to be, but with chemo they start you at the highest dose and see what your symptoms are and how your body reacts and then they'll put it down if they need to. So I'm thankful that the highest dose is my body's tolerating it because, like, obviously the highest dose will do better.
Speaker 1:Of course yeah.
Speaker 2:But I know that even the first treatment like that, the tumors have shrunk Like I. I know that because I could physically feel some and they're no longer there bothering me. Yeah, wow, I couldn't sit. I couldn't sit up for for a few months, like I was always laying on my side, or that's why I had, like anytime that I had to go to the doctors or the hospital, I would have to lay down in whoever's backseat that was bringing me Like I couldn't sit up. Yeah, so I can sit up now. It is lovely.
Speaker 1:It is lovely. Yeah, I'm quilting again.
Speaker 2:I'm quilting again.
Speaker 1:It's nice. Oh, that's exciting yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it really is. I'm like an old grandma, but that's all right.
Speaker 1:You're happy.
Speaker 2:I love quilting. Yes.
Speaker 1:So we can bring people up to speed. Do you mind sharing your diagnosis, cause we haven't talked about that.
Speaker 2:Okay, so well. It started off that the thought I had fibroids and RAID-1 cervical cancer and that I was going to be able to have a hysterectomy and get rid of all of it. But then I had an MRI and it showed that everything that was in there was actually cancer. So it's in my cervix, it's in my uterus. They think that my bladder is affected. One of my fallopian tubes are affected and it metastasized because it's one that spreads to my lungs, and the doctor said that he's not able to operate, that the X-rays lit up, that there's so much, so many in my lungs Sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was given a year to a year and a half, and I'm aiming for two and hoping for more.
Speaker 1:That is the best attitude, and many more Christmases with Robbie Pies.
Speaker 2:Many more Robbie Pie Christmases. That's right. Oh, that's nice. Those are the best.
Speaker 1:They are the best. I certainly miss those, because it's always better when someone else makes them and I have to make it here.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, yeah, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:How are you dealing with having this discussion with your family and friends, like your loved ones? Do you find it uncomfortable? Do you find comfort in having the conversations?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, the thing that bothers me is upsetting them. I don't feel uncomfortable talking about it. I always make sure that I tell them what I want and that I want to be cremated. I keep telling them. In the end, if I am in pain and I'm not aware of what's going on, make sure that I am sedated. Give me all the morphine that they allow you to give me. I do not want to feel pain. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in that with my residents and clients and the same with me. I don't feel uncomfortable talking with my family. I don't want to upset them, but they have to realize. I told my husband quite early on that this can be serious. Before we knew how bad it was. I said you have to prepare yourself. We found out how serious it was, but he's been great.
Speaker 1:I know before we started the podcast, we actually had a very good conversation. We were talking about so many random things, but one thing that we did discuss and I hope you don't mind me mentioning it is the celebration of life idea.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:want to just explain how you explained it to me.
Speaker 2:Like I said, I don't want a funeral. I don't want to be laying in a coffin with people looking down at me saying how bad I look and how sick I look. I want them to remember me, how I am now and how I was when they knew me. I'd like to have a get-together, a putt-luck, of course, Be a drop-in for an afternoon, come when you can and have a chat with me. I don't want it to be about crying and all that, but just a chance for them to see me one last time, how they want to remember me.
Speaker 1:So it's a celebration of life while you're still here with us.
Speaker 2:Right, yes.
Speaker 1:Which is such a beautiful idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it makes sense to me. Yeah for sure, it totally makes sense.
Speaker 1:It totally makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just I love the whole idea about it because that's your personality you love the get-togethers, you love a putt-luck.
Speaker 2:I love a putt-luck, for sure. I'm all about the food.
Speaker 1:All the things that you love. Do you have a bucket list?
Speaker 2:No, I don't. I've never been one that travels. I'm not an adventurer. The only thing I had always said that I'd love to do but I knew I probably never would is go across Canada on the train just to see the country. Like that they say how beautiful it is, but no, I've never. I've never had a bucket list. It's not something I don't want to skydive or bungee jump, even like that. No, it doesn't interest me. Spending family time is what means the most to me.
Speaker 1:What is keeping you positive?
Speaker 2:That's just me. That's just how I am. That's how my father was when he had colon cancer about 17, 18 years ago. There's no point in being negative. It's not going to help, and I do believe in positive attitude and vibes helping. I can't talk about doom and gloom all the time. It brings me down and I don't like it. It doesn't put me in a good space. It's like I said. I mean it sucks to know I have cancer and that's probably what I'm going to die of, but we're all going to go someday right, and many people around me could go before me.
Speaker 2:Who knows, we just exactly. We don't know when our day's going to come.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Right. So why spend the rest of my days negative and feeling sorry for myself? It's not going to help anyone around me and, like I said, I worry more about my family and friends than myself. So if I'm negative, that's going to hurt them. So I stay positive so that they stay positive.
Speaker 1:And, like I said earlier, that's how I think everybody sees you as being such a positive outgoing person, even though you say that inside you feel a little bit different. But that's how people perceive you anyway, which is such a nice thing.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is. It's nice to hear that when I hear people say that it's like, really, that's how you think of me. I never thought, I've never really thought about how people think of me, but because I'm usually like I'm the type that will, if I'm thinking something, like if you ask me a question, unless it's something that doesn't really matter, I'm not going to spare your feelings and lie about it. Like, if you really want to know the truth, I will tell you the truth. I don't believe in lying. I just never thought people see me as a bubbly, but even though consciously I try to be positive. So I guess it makes sense that people would think that because I try to be and I try to smile and you know.
Speaker 2:And that's your career choice as well. There's no point in not to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and your career choice is to take care and love on people. Yeah, and that's such an important thing and more people in that line of work need to have that attitude.
Speaker 2:Right. Actually, last night my brother and sister-in-law were visiting and her hairdresser is the daughter of one of my late clients and she mentioned to my sister-in-law that when her father passed away, I was the only worker who had brought a sympathy card to the family and it, just it, made me feel good that they remembered that, or that they noticed that or, like you know, and that it meant enough to them to mention it, like you know it's. But that's just me. I mean, of course, I would like you know it's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just being thoughtful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and chill that you care, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:If you had any words of advice to somebody in your situation right now, who doesn't have the support that you have, what would your words of advice be?
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, just to stay positive, take it one day at a time and and to find the support Like there's, there's a lot of stuff Like I have I call. I have a friend, I call her my, my cancer buddy, so I've known her. She's from Wetsport, but but now we talk she has. She also has uterine cancer and she's already she's had the same treatments chemo treatments that I've had and she's now currently in the city for radiation. So the there is support out there and and and you need it. You need it. I have the best support system. Like there's so many people co-workers, that check in, some on the daily, and I always tell them how much I appreciate them. Checking in Family, my brother, he messages me every morning, every night my sister calls my nephew. Like it's. It's amazing, the support that I have.
Speaker 1:It really is. It's so important, isn't it?
Speaker 2:It is, oh for sure it is.
Speaker 1:If you could give advice to your 16 year old self, what would it be?
Speaker 2:Oh God, 16. Oh, don't take everything so serious and stay in school. Damn it, it's cool. No, actually I did. I did quit school when I was young and I turned out all right. But I think, um, yeah, just don't take everything so serious and and if you want to do something, do it. Don't just think about it and dream about it. Go and do it, because tomorrow might not be here, Right?
Speaker 1:That's right and that's that's for any of us.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Right, what advice have you received that has made the greatest impact on your life, and who gave it to you?
Speaker 2:Oh, good Lord, that's a loaded question.
Speaker 1:It is. That's why, when I, I thought, well, I have to ask this.
Speaker 2:You should have gave me a heads up on that one. The person that comes to mind is my grandmother, I guess, but she always gave good advice. I just can't really think specifically of any. She was a good woman, and my mom she's been. She's been one of my best friends, like my whole life. She always gives good advice.
Speaker 1:I liked your mom was the Avon lady in our community. Yes, Her visits were always very nice because she used to sit and she always used to make time and the conversations were always really great.
Speaker 2:She missed. Her missed her chats with people when, when she retired, that's what she missed. Yeah, she loved it. She really did People would. She was like a counselor, a therapist, like people would tell her stuff and she, she kept it all to herself. I would find out, like so and so did this or did that or is pregnant or what, and I and she'd say, oh yeah, I knew that, like several months ago, and I said, well, why didn't tell me? Well, they told me not to. It wasn't my business to tell. So she, she kept everything, but they told her a lot. She really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I bet, I bet. I always looked forward when she would come and visit. So yeah, and that's what it was. It was a visit every time she would come in with the book and.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, you know it's been. It was a little I was a little nervous at the at the top of it, but yeah, it's just chatting with with Kev.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly yeah. What memories make you the most proud?
Speaker 2:One of the best experiences I've had was going in with a friend of mine when she gave birth. That was one of the most awesomest experiences ever to see a baby being born yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:I was there for my niece and oh, it's never right. Yes, and Kira and I have the best relationship. Yes, I don't know if it's because of that or I don't know if it's a natural thing, but it was just one of the craziest moments.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it was unreal, like I just yeah, it was really nice.
Speaker 1:Oh, it is.
Speaker 2:My job in in in general. No, like coming home and knowing that you've made a difference in someone's day Sometimes. There's one, one thing, one little thing it was really little that I never forgot and I don't. I remember when I was working home care years ago and I had done an overnighter for a gentleman that was passing and so I was there for the night so that his wife could sleep.
Speaker 2:And she came in when, like I was turning his pillow over, I was flipping it, and she said, you know. She said I've seen you do that a few times. And she said, you know, she's like when she was up and she said nobody's ever done that before. And she said that's just a little thing, but it's such a big thing Because it's something that he can't do, that it's a comfort thing. And she said that it means so much and it meant so much to me that it meant so much to her and but it's something that I've always done for clients or residents like that couldn't do it for themselves, because I mean, if you're bedridden, you can't move you, you can't scratch, you can't turn, you can't you know, and it's just it's just little things right and and that means a lot to me and it makes me feel good that that I did that for them, you know, but I don't.
Speaker 2:I wasn't looking for recognition for it, but it was nice that she noticed it and that it meant so much to her that I did it for her husband.
Speaker 1:It was comfort for both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is nice, it's lovely, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And and then I'm going to go into the big question. Yes, so I think maybe you had some time to think about it.
Speaker 2:A little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 1:How would you like to be remembered?
Speaker 2:Well, the first thing is an animal lover. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love animals. I do not want to hear any bed stories, sad stories about animals. I don't want to run over a mole or a mouse. I cry, I just. I love dogs, have a special place in my heart and, as you've probably seen on Facebook, pandas. So that's number one is that I love, love, love animals. But overall that I am a family and friend. I love my family and I do anything for family and friends and a loyal friend. I don't have a whole group of friends, but I had. The ones that I have were very, very close and I do anything for them and I have done anything for them over the years. Like I just, um, yeah, I think that's, and just a positive, a positive person, I guess, yeah, happy Bubbly, I guess that's what I hear.
Speaker 2:I never would have picked myself as bubbly, but but hey, I'll take it I do. I do remember a few times when I was working in nursing homes that I would go in a client in a residence room and they had family there and I would talk with them and, like I said, I liked to joke, I like to make people laugh. That's just how I tried I tried to do and I know like there's been several times that I'm walking out of room and I hear the clients or the residents say I really like her, she's funny and you know, and she's good, or she brings me this or she like, and it's nice to hear that, like they were telling their people, like you know, and it's it's nice to, it's nice to hear.
Speaker 1:It is because it's difficult work. It takes a lot out of it takes a lot out of view to to give them all that care. I know that 100%, and so when you get the recognition, it's quite nice, it's it's unnoticed.
Speaker 2:That's for sure, Because you know at a job you always hear about the bad things and the things you didn't do. So it's nice to be acknowledged for the things you did do.
Speaker 1:That's right. Yeah, that's right yeah for sure yeah. Well, thank you, Michelle. This was lovely having the conversation and. I hope that I've done you proud and I send you all the love and good vibes that I can possibly send from across the ocean.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that so much.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you, we'll definitely keep in touch and keep updated on this whole journey and, who knows, I could be home and we could be having some Rapi Pi together at some point.
Speaker 2:Hey, anytime, anytime.
Speaker 1:We're going to call Uncle Richard.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, for sure. Yes, he makes the best Rapi Pi. I'll make sure I have lots of butter on hand.
Speaker 1:Lovely Thanks, Michelle.
Speaker 2:Okay, thank you.